Last week, while enjoying a family dinner at the popular restaurant chain Cracker Barrel, we had a rather unnerving encounter with a mysterious woman who seemed to emit an aura of darkness. This woman, who we later learned was referred to as the "Dark Witch," was unlike anyone we had ever encountered before. From the moment she walked into the restaurant, a sense of unease fell upon the room, as if a foreboding presence had entered. The Dark Witch had jet-black hair that cascaded down her back, adding to her mysterious appearance. Her pale skin seemed almost translucent, as if hinting at an otherworldly origin. Her piercing eyes, the color of onyx, seemed to hold a depth and intensity that one could get lost in.
Her piercing eyes, the color of onyx, seemed to hold a depth and intensity that one could get lost in. Donning a flowing black robe, she seemed more fitting in a medieval coven than in a cozy family-friendly restaurant. As she took a seat across the room, there was a palpable shift in the atmosphere.
Wild Women With Steak Knives: LITTLE WITCHES (Jane Simpson, 1996)
It's hard to describe how big a splash Andrew Fleming's The Craft made upon its time of release in mid-1996. Even if it's only through the oft-shared Fairuza Balk "We are the weirdos, Mister" gif or Zoe Lister-Jones's 2020 sequel The Craft: Legacy, that the original has a long tail isn't really up for debate; people loved The Craft then, and they love The Craft now, for good reason. This sassy tale about a group of Catholic schoolgirls teaming up to form a coven captured the hearts and minds of horror fans and mainstream audiences alike, inspiring a now decades-long body of admirers.
Filmmakers at the time were savvy enough to know a good thing when they saw it, and Jane Simpson's Little Witches, which came out at the end of 1996, is a relatively undisguised, low-budget imitator. At the time, critics largely cringed at the audacity with which it was clearly riffing off its far more successful source of inspiration, and beyond that, the film has otherwise fallen off the radar. And yes, it would be disingenuous at best to try and argue that The Craft didn't cast a (very) long shadow over Little Witches. But that being said, Simpson's film, regardless does offer numerous delights that have otherwise largely gone unacknowledged.
Like The Craft, Little Witches is, er, a sassy tale about a group of Catholic schoolgirls teaming up to form a coven. The location here is the Santa Clarita Academy, and while the bulk of the school's student body returns to their families for Holy Week, a small cluster of students remain on the boarding school campus. Bored and flung into close proximity with each other, when an earthquake reveals a mummified corpse and a strange, hidden chapel buried underneath the school's church, vampy Jamie (Sheeri Rappaport) employs the assistance of nerdlinger virgin Faith (Mimi Rose) to help her open a portal to hell and unleash demonic bad vibes because, well, she's bored. Whatever. But maybe there's more to it than that; Little Witches doesn't dwell on it, but for all of Jamie's eye-rolling 'over it’-ness, she is, at her core, driven by a lot more than her surface adolescent disillusionment. Jamie wants power, she wants autonomy, and, as she repeats numerous times throughout the film, she wants to find a way so no one can ever tell her what to do again. And, if we listen carefully, we discover why that is so important to her.
AdvertisementDirector Jane Simpson came to Little Witches from a background making music videos (heads up: she directed Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You" video in 1984!), and has a clear affection for what were then described as MTV aesthetics with a flair for all the stylistic whistles and bells associated with the form. This is perhaps a nice way to view Little Witches; while it's not so much a music video film per se, it also doesn't hold back on gimmicks and effects, which while undeniably a little tacky, seem to be consciously so; Simpson really embraces it. Little Witches is not the best film you will see, but it has its charms if, like me, you find a peculiarly satisfying deliciousness in low-budget horror.
Make no mistake, Little Witches is trashy - absolutely - but there is a kind of sweet naivety to the trashiness that can be really appealing if your taste lies that way. Take, for instance, the opening scene which is a flashback to a ritual where floral-garland-wearing pagan girls attempt a human sacrifice but are stopped by a mysterious, monk-like guardian. Riddled with styrofoam props, flames, dry ice, latex monsters, and oh so many boobs (an even number, mind, as they usually travel in pairs), Little Witches is hardly a sophisticated foray into the genre, but from the very outset, it makes no pretense to be doing so.
AdvertisementLittle Witches is silly, it's fun, and yes, while the echoes of The Craft here are inescapable, the film's casting alone makes it worth a watch. To start with, it's our friend Clea DuVall's feature film debut, an actor with strong ties to horror who would soon go on to The Faculty (1998), The Grudge (2004), and TV series such as American Horror Story, The Lizzie Borden Chronicles, and The Handmaid's Tale. It also includes a genuinely charming performance by Jennifer Rubin of A Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors fame (Taryn forever!), and Sheeri Rappaport's performance as troubled vixen Jamie is without question one of the film's strongest foundations.
Most of all, however, it is two performers at the other end of their careers who stand out in this film most of all and alone make it worth the price of entry. Long-time David Lynch collaborator Jack Nance is super-sweet as the school's harmless priest, less Eraserhead than Twin Peaks's Pete Martell (he even goes fishing here as a perhaps not-so-subtle reference to this particular character). And although only a small part, like all the films she appeared in, horror icon Zelda Rubinstein is fabulous as the mysterious Sister Clodagh, a hermit nun. She knows many of the Santa Clarita Academy's darkest secrets, and Faith befriends as she unravels the mysteries that lie buried beneath the school's church. Little Witches probably won't change your life, but it may bring a silly little horror sunbeam into it. And let's face it, whom amongst us doesn't need a little more sunbeams, smoke machines, and latex demons in their life right now?
The normally bustling restaurant became eerily quiet, as if everyone held their breath. Whispers spread among the patrons about her alleged powers and abilities. Some claimed to have witnessed her casting spells and curses, while others had heard tales of her supernatural connections. Intrigued by the rumors circulating around the Dark Witch, we couldn't help but observe her from afar. She seemed to radiate an air of confidence and power, commanding attention without uttering a single word. Her presence alone was enough to send a shiver down your spine. Despite the unease she provoked, what struck me most was the sense of loneliness that emanated from her. It was as if she walked a solitary path, isolated from the rest of the world. Although surrounded by people, she seemed to exist in her own realm, detached from the ordinary realities of life. As our dinner came to an end, the Dark Witch rose from her seat and made her way towards the exit. The atmosphere shifted yet again, this time with an unsettling anticipation as if something profound was about to occur. With her departure, the energy in the room returned to normal, as if a spell had been lifted. Encountering the Dark Witch at Cracker Barrel was an experience that left us with a mix of both fear and intrigue. Her enigmatic presence reminded us of the mysteries that lurk in the shadows, raising questions about the existence of the supernatural and the power of perception. It was a reminder that even in the most unexpected places, one can stumble upon the extraordinary..
Reviews for "The Dark Witch's Curse: Unexplained Phenomena at Cracker Barrel"
1. Sarah - 2/5 - I was completely disappointed with "Dark Witch at Cracker Barrel". The storyline was lackluster, and the characters were poorly developed. The title gave me the impression that it would be an intriguing mix of supernatural elements and southern charm, but it fell flat on both accounts. The writing style was also unimpressive, with a lack of descriptive language and a predictable plot. Overall, the book failed to captivate my interest, and I would not recommend it to others.
2. Mike - 1/5 - I regret wasting my time reading "Dark Witch at Cracker Barrel". The premise seemed intriguing, but the execution was incredibly poor. The writing was amateurish and filled with grammatical errors, making it difficult to follow. The characters were uninteresting and lacked depth, and the dialogues felt forced and unnatural. The plot was confusing and disjointed, making it hard to engage with the story. I would not recommend this book to anyone looking for a well-written and captivating read.
3. Julia - 2/5 - "Dark Witch at Cracker Barrel" failed to meet my expectations. The pacing of the story was slow, and I found myself losing interest quickly. The characters were underdeveloped, and their motivations were unclear. The supernatural elements felt forced and out of place within the setting of a Cracker Barrel. Additionally, the book contained numerous typos and grammatical errors, which distracted from the reading experience. Overall, I was disappointed with this book and would not recommend it to others.
4. Alex - 1/5 - I couldn't wait to finish "Dark Witch at Cracker Barrel" and move on to a better book. The writing style was dry and lacking in creativity. The plot was predictable and unoriginal, and the characters were one-dimensional and unrelatable. The supernatural elements were poorly explained and seemed out of place within the Cracker Barrel setting. I found myself skimming through paragraphs just to reach the end. I would not recommend this book to anyone who is looking for an engaging and well-written story.