Magic Tree House #29: Christmas in Camelot In this thrilling adventure, Jack and Annie, the two brave siblings, travel back in time to the magical world of Camelot. As they step into their trusty tree house, they are transported to the land of knights, castles, and epic quests. Filled with excitement, Jack and Annie are on a mission to bring back joy and merriment to Camelot. They meet legendary characters such as King Arthur, Queen Guinevere, and the powerful wizard Merlin. With their help, the siblings learn about the importance of kindness, generosity, and the true spirit of Christmas. During their time in Camelot, they partake in a grand holiday feast, ride beautifully adorned horses, and witness mesmerizing magic shows.
Cheech and Chong’s Santa Claus and His Old Lady
“Santa Claus and His Old Lady” is a classic Christmas bit by Cheech and Chong, and one of their very best-known comedy routines. It was the duo’s first single and the first thing by them that I ever heard. I remember driving back home after visiting my grandparents and it came on the radio. My parents turned up the volume and were both laughing loudly. My brother and I started laughing too even though we didn’t really get it. Their voices were funny and we knew what we were hearing was something we liked, we just didn’t know why. It was Christmas time 38 years ago. I was 7 years old at the time and it would be two more years before I saw “Up in Smoke”.
“Santa Claus and His Old Lady” did not appear on Cheech and Chong’s debut album, although it has since received continued airplay on radio stations during the Christmas season, particularly those that switch to temporary all-Christmas music formats. The routine peaked at number 4 on the Billboard Christmas Singles chart upon its original release in 1971, then peaked again at number 3 on the same chart in both 1972 and 1973.
The sketch starts with Cheech at the piano as he attempts to write a parody of “Dónde Está Santa Claus?”, Spanish for “Where is Santa Claus?”, a Christmas song from 1958, but he is having little to no success. Tommy Chong enters and reveals that he has never heard of Santa Claus and repeatedly admits he always mistakes Santa Claus for a musician . Cheech then explains the story of Santa Claus, but from a hilariously unusual perspective. Santa and his wife started out in the projects in an apartment next door to Cheech’s, after which, in no small part due to a combination of cannabis-infused brownies and other edibles for which Mrs. Claus became known for making, and the excessive noise from “hammering and pounding all night”, they were driven out and went on to form a commune up at the North Pole with a large group of dwarves, supporting themselves with both welfare and food stamps. Cheech also explains that the reason Santa Claus’s sleigh can fly is because he “took the freeway” and liberally used “magic dust” and that uncomfortable experiences with Border Patrol and redneck Southerners who threatened to cut off his long hippie hair and beard prompted him to go underground with his operation. According to Cheech, Santa Claus now works undercover as a Salvation Army bell-ringer, at which point Chong once again, and more certainly this time, asserts he really had played music with Santa Claus, outside of a store.
Cheech also explains to Chong how Santa’s sleigh is pulled by a team of reindeer…
“Some reindeers, y’know. He used ta hook them onto da sled and then he used ta stand up inside da sled and hold on to da reins and then call out their names, like, “On Donner! On, Blitzen! On Chewy! On Tavo! C’mon, Becto!” And then, the reindeers used ta take off into da sky and fly across da sky, man!”
The conversation they have that covers just how it is that Santa and the reindeer fly, use magic and distort time and space was my favorite section of the bit growing up.
Cheech: Oh, well, man, he had some magic dust, man
Chong: Some magic dust?
Cheech: Yeah, magic dust, y’know? He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer, a little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more…
Chong: And this would get the reindeer off, man?
Cheech: Aw, got ’em off, man? Are you kidding, man? They flew all da way around da world, man!
It’s an almost 50 year old routine and it’s still our vote for the all-time best cannabis themed holiday content we’ve ever experienced. It’s available on Spotify and Apple music, or you can just Google it and watch it on Youtube. Do yourself a favor and get really high, and then enjoy a solid seven minutes of classic Christmas comedy with Cheech and Chong this season. Happy Holidaze from all of us at Edibles Magazine.
Cheech And Chong
CM: (Playing piano) "Ma-ma-ma-ma-cita, donde esta Santa Cleese. the vato wit da bony knees. he comin' down da street wit no choos on his feet. and he's going to. " No, no, that ain't it. "Mamamacita, donde esta Santa Claus. da guy wit da hair on his jaws. he's. " Nah. Hey, man, come over here, man. I need some help, man.
TC: Yeah, man. I can dig that. Like, uh, what are ya doin', man?
CM: Aw, I'm trying to write a song about Santa Claus, man, but it's not comin' out.
TC: About who, man?
CM: About Santa Claus, man. You know, Santa Claus, man?
TC: Oh, yeah, man. I played with those dudes, man.
TC: Yeah, last year at the Fillmore, man. Me and the bass player sat in, man.
CM: Oh, hey, man, you think Santa Claus is a group, huh? No, it's not a group, man.
TC: Wha? They break up, man?
CM: No, man. It's one guy, man. Y'know, he had a..a red suit on, man, with black patent leather choos. you know the guy, man.
TC: Oh, yeah. he's with Motown, ain't he? Yeah, I played with that dude, too, man. He's a good singer, man.
CM: No, no, hold on, man. He's not with Motown, man.
TC: Well, then he's with Buddah, man.
CM: No, aw, man, you don't know who Santa Claus is, man!
TM: Yeah, well, I'm not from here, man. Like, I'm from Pittsburgh, man. I don't know too many local dudes.
CM: Ohhh, I see. Well, hey, man, sit back and relax and I'll tell you da story about Santa Claus, man. Listen.
(background music begins)
Once upon a time, about, hmmm, five years ago, there was this groovy dude and has name was Santa Claus, y'know? And he used to live over in the projects with his old lady and they had a pretty good thing together because his old lady was really fine and she could cook and all that stuff like that, y'know. Like, she made da best brownies in town, man! Oh, I could remember 'em now, man. I could eat one of 'em, man, wow.
TC: Wow, did you know these people, man?
CM: Oh, yeah, man. They used to live next door to me, y'know. until they got kicked out, man.
TC: Wha? They got kicked out of the projects, man?
CM: Yeah, you know what happened, man? They used ta live with all these midgets, y'know, and da midgets used ta make a lotta noise, y'know, like pounding and hammering and pounding all night, man.
TC: Typical freaks, huh?
CM: Oh, yeah, man, they were really freaks, man. As a matter of fact, they all moved up north together, y'know.
TC: Oh, they had to go get their head together, man?
CM: Yeah, get their head together. And they started a commune, y'know. It was called the. uh. "Santa Claus and his Old Lady Commune"; it was a real famous one up there, man. And they used to sit around and groove all the time, y'know.
CM: Yeah, a really good time, man.
TC: That sounds heavy.
CM: Yeah, they eat da brownies, man, and they drink da tea, man. and what they did most of da time, though, was make a lotta goodies, y'know? And they had everything they needed; they only needed to come into town maybe once a year or something like that.
TC: To pick up the welfare check and the food stamps, right.
CM: Yeah. No, no, what they did, man, is that, once a year, when they made all the goodies, y'know, they used ta put 'em in a beeg chopping bag and, then, they used ta take da chopping bag and give 'em to all the boys and girls all da way around da world, man!
TC: Hey, well, that's hip, man. That sounds real nice.
CM: Oh, yeah, they were really nice people, man. And so much class, man. they had so much class, y'know. Like, even take da way they used ta deliver da toys, y'know. It's like, Santa Claus used ta have this really charp chort, man, y'know? It was lowered to da ground, had twice-pipes, candy-apple red and button top. Oooo, clean!
TC: Hey, that sounds like a hip snowmobile, man.
CM: No, no, it wasn't a snowmobile; it was a sled, y'know. One of those big sleds, y'know? And he used ta have it pulled by some reindeers, y'know, like, reindeers?
TC: Some what, man?
CM: Some reindeers, y'know. He used ta hook them onto da sled and then he used ta stand up inside da sled and hold on to da reins and then call out their names, like, "On Donner! On, Blitzen! On Chewy! On Tavo! C'mon, Becto!" And then, the reindeers used ta take off into da sky and fly across da sky, man!
TC: Wow, man! That's far out, man!
CM: Yeah! And then, when they flied across da sky, they used ta come down to places like, oh, Chicago, L.A., Nueva York and Pacoima and all those places, y'know, and then land on top of people's roofs and then 'ol Santa Claus would make himself real small, y'know, like, a real small guy, and he'd come down da chimney and then he would give you all da stuff that he made, man. And. dig this, man. he did it all in one night, man!
TC: Hey, just a minute, man. Now, how'd he do that, man?
CM: Oh, well, man, he took da freeway. How else, man?
TC: No, man. No, man, how'd he do all that other stuff, man? Like, how'd he make himself small, man. And, how'd he, like, how'd he get the reindeer off the ground, man?
CM: Oh, well, man, he had some magic dust, man.
TC: Some magic dust?
CM: Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer, a little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more.
TC: And this would get the reindeer off, man?
CM: Aw, got 'em off, man? Are you kidding, man? They flew all da way around da world, man!
TC: Hey, that's far out, man! Hey, how come I've never met this dude, man?
CM: Oh, man, he doesn't do that bit anymore, man. It got too dangerous, man.
TC: Yeah, I can dig that, man, 'cause that's a dangerous bit, man!
CM: Yeah, lemme tell ya, it sure was, man. Like just two years ago, man, he got stopped at the border, y'know, and they took him into another room and took off his clothes, man, and searched him and searched his bag of goodies, man. and then, when he was leaving, man, he was flying through the air and somebody took a chot at his reindeer, y'know.
TC: Aw, that's a drag, man.
CM: Yeah, it really was, man. And then, man, he went down South, man, and they tried to cut off his hair and his beard, man. And all the time, he was getting stopped and pulled over and asked for his ID, man. just everywhere he went, he ran into too much recession, man.
TC: No, man, you mean he ran into too much repression, man.
CM: Aw, "repression". "recession". man, it's all da same thing, man.
TC: Yeah, man. But, it's a drag, man, 'cause we could sure use a dude like that right now.
CM: Oh, he still comes around, man.
CM: Yeah, but he comes in disguises now.
TC: Aw, he went "underground".
CM: Yeah, "underground", man.
TC: I can dig it.
CM: Yeah. But you ought to see his disguise, man; nobody would ever know it was him, man.
CM: Yeah. He's got a job in front of da department store, ringing this bell and playing this tambourine next to this black pot, y'know?
TC: Aw, I seen the dude, man!
CM: Yeah! You know who I'm talking about, man!
TC: Yeah, man! I played with that cat last year, man!
TC: Yeah, we played in front of a store, man! We made a lot of bread, man!
CM: Aw, hey, wait a minute, man! Santa Claus is not a musician, man!
TC: I'm hip, man! That cat didn't know any tunes, man!
CM: Oh, hey, wait a minute, man. no, he's not hip to that at all, man.
TC: No, I played with this dude, man.
My 400 Favorite Modern Christmas Songs, The Top 20!
Many of you are thinking that we are FINALLY diving into this guy’s Top 20 modern Christmas songs. It’s about time, since you made us suffer through 380 other songs by artists we still have no idea who they are. What can I say? I truly do dig all these different versions of the same song, song or hymn. Plus, I left off many other fun songs by artists, both known and obscure.
There are many great Christmas songs by the likes of Sting, Pet Shop Boys and Los Lobos, while my personal favorite seasonal novelty song was left off the list, the immortal “I Farted on Santa’s Lap” by the appropriately named The Little Stinkers. I undersold the holiday work of Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton, while I acknowledge that Mariah Carey is the Queen of Christmas music we all better not sleep on Kelly Clarkson who has recorded two terrific Christmas albums in the past decade or so.
Perhaps, the thing I wanted to point out most of all is that you, the avid music listener, do NOT have to listen to the same small playlist, albums or radio version of popular Christmas music. There are many absolutely wonderfully fun and moving recent pop songs of holiday music that are totally being overlooked by radio programmers and algorithms. And, I want to bring these songs into the daylight, so some of you might seek them out and include them in your current or future holiday playlists.
Now, it’s time to see just what holiday standards made my personal Top 20.
20. John Mellencamp – “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” (2007). When he recorded this songs, Mellencamp was at his career peak. He and his band had perfected his Hoosier mix of Appalachian country/folk instrument and Rolling Stones crunch. John and his band find the missing rock and roll aspect of this holiday classic.
19. Dolly Parton – “Hard Candy Christmas” (1984). This song only seems to improve with age. No one, absolutely no one, writes broken-hearted songs like Dolly does, and she couples the sentiment with Christmas in this should-be-a-classic.
18. The Band – “Christmas Must Be Tonight” (1975). Can we all agree that Robbie Robertson knows his way around song narratives? This long-overlooked Christmas song needs to become a modern classic. Robertson just nails the Christmas story perfectly in three minutes that must ministers can’t make in a half-hour sermon.
17. Taylor Swift – “Christmas Tree Farm (Old Timey Version)” (2021). This song should have been all over radio when the original version was released two years ago. So, Taylor, whose been on a major roll re-recording back catalog, eschews the folky original to give this brilliant song a more traditional, Sixties-like production, turning the song into a timeless classic.
16. Band Aid – “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” (1984). This song is ground zero for the MTV generation’s obsession with, first, holiday songs, and, two, charity singles. By now, we all know how clunky and awkward the lyrics are, but everyone’s hearts were in the right place. So, emotion won out in the end. Let me give a shout out to one of my all-time faves, Paul Weller, for his contribution (Put The Jam in the Rock Hall!).
15. Bobby Helms – “Jingle Bell Rock” (1957). Helms was a budding country artist in the Fifties when he wrote and recorded this modern yuletide classic. Like Mellencamp and me, Helms is a Hoosier, all the while maintaining a modest lifestyle in southern Indiana. Yet, his Christmas classic is everywhere each December, which continues to keep his estate financially secure.
14. Brenda Lee – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” (1958). Here is yet another classic from the early days of rock and roll. The next time you listen to Brenda Lee’s Christmas tune, think about her being in her early teens when she recorded this song. Some people are simply blessed with a gift. Brenda was blessed with two: first, her voice and, second, this song.
13. Cheech & Chong – “Santa Claus and His Old Lady” (1971). When I was a kid, Cheech & Chong’s brand of drug-based humor was second only to Richard Pryor. But, their take on Santa’s story is brilliantly hilarious. Unfortunately, this might have become something of a relic in the post-“Just Say No” days. But, what can you say when you discover that Santa’s reindeer get their ability to fly from “magic dust.” “A little for the reindeer, a little for Santa, a little more for Santa, a little more for Santa…” The Seventies truly were a more innocent and much different time.
12. The Regrettes – “Marshmallow World” (2016). Just as Darlene Love’s version jumped from the mono car radio due to Phil Spector’s production in 1963, The Regrettes neo-New Wave take on this classic jumps out from my smart speaker. This version is so fun that it was used in a Target commercial a few years ago. See? I am NOT totally stuck in the 70s/80s/90s.
11. Dan Fogelberg – “Same Old Lang Syne” (1980). Once again, this song only mentions in the opening line that Fogelberg ran into a past flame in a grocery store on a Christmas Eve. So, technically, it’s probably not really a Christmas song. But, the holiday season is about reunions, so why not a couple of high school sweethearts getting reacquainted. It is a very touching song and just might be Dan’s best moment. By the way, did you know this is a true story? A year ago, I read an article about the girl in the song. Her story is pretty cool. Check out the story: https://www.pjstar.com/story/entertainment/music/2020/12/14/dan-fogelberg-same-old-lang-syne/6494479002/
10. Elton John – “Step into Christmas” (1973). Elton was the MAN when he recorded this song. Now, it’s become something of a modern Christmas classic. I will always associate this song with American Bandstand during their Christmas-themed shows during the 70s.
9. Stevie Wonder – “Someday at Christmas” (1967). This anti-war yuletide song has long been one of my all-time favorites as it combined socially-aware lyrics with Christmas themes. And Stevie was just beginning to discover his adult songwriter’s voice on this song.
8. Billy Squier – “Christmas Is the Time to Say ‘I Love You'” (1981). Squier was red-hot in 1981 and 1982. So, it was no wonder that he was invited to MTV’s second on-air Christmas bash. This classic was recorded live in front of a bunch of drunk members of MTV’s staff.
7. Bing Crosby & David Bowie – “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth” (1977, released 1982). I remember hearing that Bing, my maternal grandfather’s favorite singer who had passed away just two years earlier, was singing a duet with one of my favorite artists on his Christmas special, I knew I had to watch. What I did not know was that Bowie didn’t want to sing “Little Drummer Boy,” so he and Bing worked up the arrangement of this medley an hour before recording it. This song may be the most sentimental holiday song for me because of my grandpa.
6. Harry Simeone Chorale – “Little Drummer Boy” (1958, 1965). As a young boy, my parents would try to send me to bed early on Christmas Eve. So, for the next couple of hours, I would listen to my GE AM-only bedroom radio while reading books. It seemed as though the local radio station’s last song every Christmas Eve night around their midnight sign-off would be this song. At first, I hated to hear it played, but as I got older I began to appreciate the vocal arrangements and this acapella hit began to grow on me. Now, it reminds me of those cold Christmas Eve nights as child anticipating Santa’s arrival.
5. Daryl Hall & John Oates – “Jingle Bell Rock (Daryl’s Version)” (1980). The duo was just beginning to exert their 80s dominance when they recorded two versions of this classic, with the versions sung by each man. When the songs were released, one version was pressed on red vinyl while the other one on green vinyl. Of course, since I am a HUGE fan of these guys, I own both. But, it is Daryl’s version that radio has played over the years. But, to my ears, the “rock ‘n’ soul” duo out-did the original, especially when coupled with its cheesy parody video. Classics are both.
4. John & Yoko with The Plastic Ono Band – “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” (1971). It’s rare when a song works on multiple levels, but when someone can have a hit pop song that is a great protest song in addition to becoming a Christmas classic, you have a major piece of art. Lennon takes Wonder’s sentiments and raises the bar. This song is eternal.
3. Mariah Carey – “All I Want for Christmas Is You” (1994). Give Mariah credit. She wrote a monster song, not just a monster Christmas song. This song was a holiday classic from the moment is was released. It is a perfect song, not just a perfect Christmas song. It contains musical nods to Motown and the 80s all the while feeling totally fresh, even 30 years later. Plus, the song has shot to number one on Billboard‘s Hot 100 each of the past three years. No other song has done that.
2. The Ronettes – “Sleigh Ride” (1963). This song is from arguably the greatest Christmas album ever recorded (A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector). This song is just terrific, from the horse sound effects to the driving rhythm of the Wrecking Crew’s playing. Now, this album and song are considered to be classics. But, it did get off to an auspicious start as the album was released on the day that President Kennedy was assassinated. At least it has found an audience now.
1. Bruce Springsteen – “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” (1975, released 1985). The Boss took the arrangement of The Crystals’ version from the Phil Spector album and distilled it through his Born to Run-era romantic period to marry Christmas to modern rock music. This is Christmas music at its very best while Bruce takes the song to a whole other level in concert. This one has brought me much joy over the past 45 years, that I have passed on to my boys and, now, my grandchildren who must hear it when they enter our home.
And, there you have it. I know, I ranked “White Christmas” and “Do You Hear What I Hear?” lower. Well, who do I knock out of my Top 20? See? It’ much harder than it looks.
During their time in Camelot, they partake in a grand holiday feast, ride beautifully adorned horses, and witness mesmerizing magic shows. However, not everything is merry and bright. The evil sorceress, Morgan le Fay, threatens to ruin Christmas in Camelot with her dark magic.
Now it's up to Jack and Annie to save the day and bring back the joyous Christmas atmosphere. With their bravery and resourcefulness, the siblings embark on a dangerous quest, where they must solve riddles, overcome obstacles, and prove themselves worthy of the magic that resides in Camelot. Along the way, they encounter enchanted forests, mythical creatures, and even face the daunting challenge of saving their friends from a treacherous prophecy. As the story unfolds, Jack and Annie learn valuable lessons about loyalty, courage, and the power of teamwork. They discover that the true magic lies within themselves and that by believing in themselves and their abilities, they can conquer any challenge that comes their way. As Christmas in Camelot draws near, Jack and Annie's determination and selflessness shine through. With the help of their newfound friends and a sprinkle of holiday magic, they manage to thwart Morgan le Fay's wicked plans and restore the spirit of Christmas to Camelot. In "Magic Tree House #29: Christmas in Camelot," Mary Pope Osborne beautifully weaves a tale that combines the magic of the holiday season with the enchanting world of Camelot. Readers of all ages will be transported to a time of chivalry, wonder, and the true meaning of Christmas..
Reviews for "The Magic Tree House and the Wild West: Magic Tree House 29"
1. Sarah - 2 stars - I was really disappointed with "Magic Tree House 29". I found the storyline to be shallow and predictable. The characters lacked depth and I didn't feel connected to them at all. It felt like a rushed and lazy attempt at a new installment in the series. Overall, I don't think I would recommend this book to anyone.
2. Mike - 1 star - I've always been a fan of the Magic Tree House series, but "Magic Tree House 29" was a major letdown. The plot was repetitive and unoriginal, with nothing new or exciting to offer. The writing was lackluster and failed to capture my attention. I found myself bored and uninterested throughout the entire book. I hope the next installment in the series is better than this one.
3. Emily - 2 stars - I was hoping for a more engaging and adventurous story from "Magic Tree House 29". Unfortunately, I found it to be quite boring and uneventful. The plot felt recycled and the characters lacked depth. The book failed to captivate my interest and I struggled to finish it. I was left feeling disappointed and unsatisfied. I would not recommend this book to fans of the series looking for an exciting read.
4. David - 3 stars - While "Magic Tree House 29" wasn't the worst book I've read, it definitely fell short of my expectations. The storyline lacked originality and felt overly simplistic. The writing style was average at best, and I didn't feel connected to the characters. However, I will admit that the book had a few entertaining moments. Overall, it was an okay read, but not something I would choose to revisit.
5. Jessica - 2 stars - As a longtime fan of the Magic Tree House series, I was disappointed by "Magic Tree House 29". The plot felt rushed and predictable, lacking the excitement and imagination of the earlier books. The characters also felt one-dimensional and lacking in development. While I appreciate the attempt to continue the series, this particular installment fell short for me. I hope the next book will be more engaging and bring back the magic of the earlier books.