Once upon a time, there was a clever and resourceful cat named Puss in Boots. Puss lived with his owner, a poor miller's son. They were struggling to make ends meet and often went hungry. Puss, being a loyal and cunning cat, couldn't bear to see his owner suffer. One day, Puss overheard a conversation between the miller's son and a wealthy neighbor. The neighbor had boasted about his magical beanstalk that grew beans capable of granting wishes.
Dr. Freex, of The Bad Movie Report, seems to think that Forever Evil, a backyard movie he personally worked on, is the kind of movie that's to be immediately disowned. I haven't seen the movie (though I plan to watch it. someday), though I somehow have the idea it can't be all that bad. In fact, after watching Curse of the Cannibal Confederates, I am positive it must have some merit - for no other backyard production could possibly be as badly planned and executed as this movie. For a change, I will write a prescription for a doctor: Dr. Freex, watch Curse of the Cannibal Confederates, and you'll immediately feel better about Forever Evil. (Warning: Side effects include boredom, strained eyes, slack-jaws, fits of frustration, and involuntary groans.)
Despite having no dialogue or considering the quality of said dialogue, perhaps because would be a better word , he manages to add a real sense of poignancy to the movie. Then after several minutes of the characters engaged in boring chat and wandering around the barren woods, we are treated to more wandering around, though with only with one of the characters, as he investigates the source of bell noises Ms.
The neighbor had boasted about his magical beanstalk that grew beans capable of granting wishes. Puss saw an opportunity to change their fortune and came up with a plan. The next day, Puss rushed to the market and sold his owner's belongings, including their old cow, in exchange for a handful of magic beans.
Curse of the Cannibal Confederates (1982)
CURSE OF THE CANNIBAL CONFEDERATES (1982)
(a.k.a. THE CURSE OF THE SCREAMING DEAD)
Article #1169 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-27-2004
Posting Date: 10-24-2004
Directed by Tony Malanowski
Featuring Steve Sandkuhler, Christopher Gummer, Rebecca Bach
When a group of hunters and their girlfriends desecrate the burial ground of confederate soldiers tortured and killed by union soldiers, the soldiers rise up to wreak vengeance.
This movie was originally made as THE CURSE OF THE SCREAMING DEAD in 1982, then released by Troma five years later as CURSE OF THE CANNIBAL CONFEDERATES. With a title like that, and knowing that it came from Troma, you immediately know how to adjust your expectations. It’s really just a retread of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD at heart. The dialogue is howlingly bad at times, the acting is terrible (it’s one of those movies where the actors try to express great emotion by hanging their mouth open and getting a vacant expression in their eyes), the music is annoyingly bad (especially during the zombie attack scenes), and all the human characters become so unlikeable during the length of the movie that you’ll be quite surprised that the script allowed any of them to survive. The only really gory section of the movie is the zombie-chowing-down scene that largely plays like the one in NOTLD except that a) it’s in color, b) it’s not done as well, and c) it runs on three times as long. Troma fans may be disappointed; there is more nudity and gore in the opening trailers on the tape than in the movie itself. The movie can almost be dismissed entirely as nothing more than a source of snickers. You will notice, however, that I hedged on that last statement. I did so for good reason. There was at least one startlingly good thing about this movie, and that was Mark Redfield’s performance as the Captain Matthew Mahler, the head of the zombie regiment. Despite having no dialogue (or considering the quality of said dialogue, perhaps “because” would be a better word), he manages to add a real sense of poignancy to the movie. After the first attack by the zombies on the hunters (which results in the demise of several of the zombies), he takes a moment to look over the “battlefield”, and for a few seconds I got the sense of a military leader musing on how many good men were lost in the battle. For some reason, I found this moment as touching as it was unexpected, and he manages to convey some of that same feeling in some of his other scenes. It doesn’t redeem the movie as a whole by any means, but it does show that sometimes you can find gems in the most unexpected of places.
Aside from the little merit in the gut-crunching, I am hard pressed to think of anything else notable about Curse of the Cannibal Confederates. It is truly the absolute pits in almost every aspect that you find in films. And don't get me wrong - this isn't the kind of awfulness that's funny - it's so bad as to be almost unwatchable. So bad, that even Troma should blush for believing it warranted a re-release.
He returned home excitedly, and when his owner saw the beans, he was furious. He scolded Puss for being foolish and believed they had lost everything. But Puss had a trick up his sleeve. Late at night, when everyone was asleep, Puss planted the magic beans in the garden. By morning, a gigantic beanstalk had grown, reaching the clouds. Puss awakened his owner and explained the plan. They would climb the beanstalk to find the treasures that awaited them in the sky. Brave and determined, Puss and his owner began their ascend up the enormous beanstalk. As they climbed higher and higher, they witnessed a magical world above the clouds. When they finally reached the top, they found themselves in front of a grand castle. Inside the castle, they discovered a fierce and powerful giant who guarded his treasures closely. Puss distracted the giant with his quick wit and charm, while his owner snuck around, stealing bags of gold and jewels. The two of them together managed to collect a fortune. With their newly obtained wealth, Puss and his owner returned home, victorious and no longer poor. They were able to provide for themselves and live comfortably. Puss in Boots had used his cunning and the magic beans to transform their lives for the better. From that day forward, Puss and his owner were hailed as heroes in their village. Puss was admired for his cleverness and loyalty, while his owner learned the value of trust and taking risks. Together, they lived happily ever after, thanks to the magical beans and Puss in Boots' quick thinking..
Reviews for "The Magic Beans That Started It All: Puss in Boots' Epic Tale"
1. Sarah Davidson - 2 stars - I was really disappointed with "Puss in Boots: Magic Beans". The movie lacked originality and the plot felt forced. The characters were one-dimensional and didn't develop much throughout the film. The animation was also underwhelming, making it hard to fully engage with the story. Overall, I found it to be a forgettable experience and would not recommend it to others.
2. Mark Thompson - 1 star - "Puss in Boots: Magic Beans" was a complete letdown. The storyline felt disjointed and confusing, jumping from one scene to another without much coherence. The humor also fell flat, often relying on tired clichés and cheap gags. The voice acting was lackluster, with no real standout performances. I found myself counting down the minutes until the movie ended. It was a waste of time and money.
3. Jennifer Green - 2 stars - I had high hopes for "Puss in Boots: Magic Beans", but unfortunately, it fell short of my expectations. The pacing was off, making it difficult to stay engaged throughout the film. The dialogue also felt forced and unnatural, lacking the wit and charm of other animated movies. The animation itself was average, not particularly impressive or memorable. Overall, it was a forgettable experience and not one I would recommend to others.
4. Alex Carter - 1 star - I regret watching "Puss in Boots: Magic Beans". The plot was convoluted and lacked depth, relying on predictable tropes and plot devices. The characters were uninteresting and their motivations were unclear. The humor was also aimed at a much younger audience, leaving adults feeling bored and unamused. The animation was subpar, with clunky movements and unappealing visuals. I would advise skipping this movie altogether.