My tutor is a witch. I know it sounds strange, but it's true. When I first met her, I had no idea about her supernatural abilities. She seemed like any other regular person. It was only later when I started taking lessons with her that I began to notice something strange going on. At first, it was subtle.

1985’ s baseball season was scandalized by a coke-dealing parrot

What it’s about: Baseball! Wholesome, nostalgic, poetic baseball. Also, lots and lots of wholesome, nostalgic, poetic cocaine. Yes, like all celebrities in the ’80s, many of your favorite baseball players were getting high on their own supply, resulting in one of the biggest scandals in baseball history erupting at the end of the 1985 season.

Biggest controversy: Despite that description, the scandal wasn’t big enough to merit much punishment. While Keith Hernandez suggested that 40 percent of Major League ballplayers were using coke, only 11 players were implicated (Hernandez among them), they were granted legal immunity, and while they were ostensibly suspended from the game, Baseball Commissioner Peter Ueberroth commuted their suspensions in exchange for community service, and a percentage of the players’ salaries donated to drug abuse programs.

Strangest fact: Even a parrot was caught up in the drug ring. Pittsburgh’s clubhouse was a haven of drug activity, and Kevin Koch, who played the Pirate Parrot was a go-between for players looking to find a dealer. (Wikipedia doesn’t address the rumors that he stashed coke inside his costume’s oversized parrot head.) The Phillies’ clubhouse caterer was also selling more than just hot dogs, as he went to jail on 11 counts of selling coke.

Thing we were happiest to learn: And no one in baseball ever used an illicit substance again. Ha, we’re totally kidding. In fact, when Ueberroth, less than two years after the scandal, declared baseball to be drug free, he was laughed at. If ballplayers did abandon cocaine, it was only for a different drug, as baseball’s next big scandal would involve the widespread use of steroids .

Thing we were unhappiest to learn: The guilty players’ careers were barely affected by the scandal. Tim Raines, who claimed he only slid headfirst so as not to break the vial of coke in his pocket, was not suspended, and is now in the Hall Of Fame. Hernandez and Dave Parker were All-Stars for several seasons after the scandal, although neither are in the Hall, and the scandal is assumed to be the reason for that. The only player to suffer direct serious consequences was pitcher Rod Scurry, who died of a cocaine-induced heart attack at age 36.

Best link to elsewhere on Wikipedia: The Pittsburgh trials page links to a myriad of other doping scandals in sports, none more bizarre than abortion doping . During the Cold War, rumors persisted that Soviet athletes were getting pregnant for supposed physical benefits and then aborting the babies before the second trimester. The surge in hormones that accompanies pregnancy includes testosterone, which aids muscle growth, and relaxin, which loosens joints, although Wikipedia points out that any perceived benefits are more than balanced out by morning sickness and fatigue. At any rate, the bizarre allegations were never proven, and Snopes.com concluded the stories are largely based on one dubious interview with a retired Soviet gymnast, and have persisted only because they’re often used in “poorly sourced arguments” by the anti-abortion movement.

Further down the Wormhole: A coked-up parrot isn’t the only questionable part of Pirates’ fan culture. In 1966, team trainer Danny Whelan taunted an opposing pitcher while waving, “a green rubber hot dog,” in the direction of the mound. Wikipedia does not record why or how the Pirates’ trainer had a green rubber hot dog on his person, but he started a trend, and plastic replicas of the Green Weenie were distributed to fans, who would shake them to provide good luck to Pirates’ players or bad luck to their opponents.

The Weenie served as a talisman for Pirates fans until 1974, and made a brief reappearance in 1989. Good luck talismans are on a long list of superstitions, one of which is maternal impression —the unscientific idea that babies’ congenital deformities were caused by emotional stimulus to the mother during pregnancy. One of the strangest cases attributed to maternal impression was that of Mary Toft , who convinced 19th-century England that she had given birth to rabbits. We’ll look at the hare-raising story next week! (We were raised on Looney Tunes’ puns, we can’t help ourselves!)

Baseball's Greatest Scandals, #4: The Pittsburgh Drug Trials

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At first, it was subtle. She would flick her fingers and make the pen on the table move. I thought it was just a coincidence or a trick of my mind.

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". and this is your brain on drugs." The Pittsburgh Parrot in (hopefully) less cocaine-fueled days.

In May 1985, Curtis Strong was charged with distributing (and possessing with intent to distribute) cocaine. Although Strong was charged with multiple counts of distributing cocaine during a period of four years, he was not a major drug dealer. Through catering work that he had performed for the Philadelphia Phillies, Strong had become acquainted with a number of major league baseball players. They gave him access to locker rooms used by major league baseball teams, thereby enabling him to sell cocaine to several players. His trial became the most publicized trial in the history of the Western District of Pennsylvania.
-- USCourts.gov description

Probably the clearest evidence that the use of performance-enhancing drugs in baseball did not start in the mid-90's with steroids, comes in the form of the Pittsburgh drug trials, a scandal which rocked MLB a decade earlier. But there are some interesting parallels between the two situations. Both had a sharp, if temporary, impact on the nation's love of the game, pulling the curtain back on the seedier side of clubhouse life. In both cases, the player's union acted as enablers, opposing action against those involved. And in both, the commissioner made a great deal of noise, but proved largely ineffectual, and the majority of those involved received no real sanction.

Admittedly, this one also involves a mascot.

"It was so prevalent out in society, that we had to be doing it too."
-- Dave Parker

Difficult though it may be to believe, there was a time when the Pittsburgh Pirates didn't suck. In 1979, they won the World Series, with a team that included All-Star starter in RF Parker, as well as Willie Stargell, co-winner of the National League MVP. But by the middle of the eighties, that seemed like a distant memory. The 1985 Pirates won just 57 games, in front of an average crowd at Three Rivers Stadium of 9,199.

This wasn't the first scandal involving cocaine use by major-league players. A couple of years previously, Kansas City had been the focus of an investigation, which resulted in the conviction of four players, including pitcher Vida Blue, who started the All-Star Game with both leagues, for attempting to buy cocaine. They spent three months in prison, causing reliever Dan Quisenberry to quip, "I'm surprised we didn't make more trades with the Yankees. Half our players are already in stripes." Their dealer, Mark Liebl, later stated he had used the drug with members of the Red Sox, White Sox, Athletics and Twins, including Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley, who denied the claim.

On the morning of May 31st, 1985, freelance photographer Dale Shiffman received an unexpected visit from the Feds. This was the result of indictments handed down by a grand jury the night before, naming seven men in connection with a drug ring operating in and around the city. He had been handed to the authorities on a platter by his friend. Kevin Koch, who had been the man inside the Pittsburgh mascot, the Pirates Parrot, since that World Series victory. The two had been particularly close to players Dale Berra, son of Yogi, and Rod Scurry, and helped procure the drug of choice for them and their team-mates. Schiffman got the coke, Koch delivered it.

The scope and volume of use can hardly be exaggerated. Shiffman estimated in an interview with HBO, that two-thirds of the 25-man roster were using cocaine, and given the team's high public profile, it's no surprise that word eventually leaked out to the authorities. In 1984, the FBI came calling on the team, interviewing Scurry.He had been shipped of to rehab by the Pirates after a game where he walked two batters on eight pitches, and that night, would "go on to tear apart his hotel room, in a fit of paranoid hallucinations." [Scurry would die at the age of 36, in circumstances suggesting drug use may well have been involved]

"At the conclusion of that interview, we had a list of drug dealers, and a list of the professional baseball players to whom they were selling cocaine," said investigator Wells Morrison. "Every ball player that we spoke with identified additional ball players who were also using cocaine." The law-enforcement policy then, was to go after dealers rather than users, and the FBI offered players immunity from prosecution, if they agreed to testify against those who had provided the drug. They also offered a deal to the mascot, who agreed to roll over, I guess becoming a Stool Parrot.

The resulting trial, needless to say, became a national media sensation, with half the courtroom given over to the ninety members of the press who were covering the juicy details. For the players who were called to court provided a wealth of juicy details, implicating a raft of famous names. Here are some of the highlights:

• Tim Raines of the Montreal Expos testified that he kept cocaine in the back pocket of his uniform pants during games. Raines testified that he always slid headfirst when stealing bases, simply to ensure that the glass vial would be safe. .
• Keith Hernandez, the 1979 NL Most Valuable Player, described "waking up one morning with a bloody nose, the shakes, and his weight down ten pounds." He estimated that approximately 40% of players in the big leagues were using cocaine, though subsequently tried to backtrack on this figure.
• John Milner told the court he once bought two grams of coke from one defendants in a bathroom stall at Three Rivers Stadium in 1980. He also testified that, when with the Mets, he took a liquid amphetamine from Willie Mays' locker, which was next to his.
• Berra claimed that Stargell and Bill Madlock also supplied their team-mates with amphetamines around the start of the decade.

The end results were the convictions of Curtis Strong and Schiffman, and both men received sentences of 12 years, but served only a fraction of that. Schiffman was out of jail after just two years. As for the players, they got off almost scot-free, despite their admissions of rampant illegal use. While Commissioner Peter Ueberroth suspended seven players for a full season, and four more for 60 days, all the sentences were commuted, if the players agreed to donate a small percentage - 10% of less - of their salaries to drug-related causes and perform community service. Ueberroth's plan to test the urine of those involved was thwarted entirely by the player's union,

Cocaine use remains perhaps the unspoken secret of baseball, and there's little doubt it still goes on. The most recent time of note it broke the surface was the admission of cocaine use by Rangers' manager, Ron Washington. But it was also one of the drugs used by #1 draft pick Josh Hamilton, on his circuitous journey to MVP honors, and earlier this year, the Dodgers' Ronald Belisario admitted to using coke in the off-season, but said "It was a one-time thing," just like Washington. If you believe that, or think those are the only people active in the game who have used it, even with the more stringent testing now in place, you're a more credulous fan than I.

"Someone has to say, "enough is enough" against drugs. Baseball's going to accomplish this. We're going to remove drugs and be an example."
-- MLB Commissioner, Peter Ueberroth, 1985.

How did that work out, Pete?

But as the sessions progressed, the strange occurrences became more frequent and impossible to ignore. One day, as I was struggling with a difficult math problem, she gently touched my hand and whispered something under her breath. Immediately, the solution became clear in my mind. It was as if she had magically transferred her knowledge to me. From that moment, I knew there was something extraordinary about her. As I started to pay closer attention, I noticed other signs of her magical abilities. Sometimes, when she wanted to emphasize a point, objects around the room would float or change shape. It was both exciting and unsettling to witness these supernatural events. Despite her magical powers, my tutor remained humble and kind. She never used her abilities to harm or manipulate others. Instead, she used them to help me and other students understand complex concepts and excel in our studies. Over time, I realized that having a witch as a tutor was a unique opportunity. I was privileged to learn from someone with such extraordinary gifts. She taught me not only academic subjects but also valuable life lessons about integrity, empathy, and the responsible use of power. My journey with her has been nothing short of magical. She has expanded my horizons, challenged my limits, and inspired me to reach for the stars. I am eternally grateful for her guidance and the extraordinary experience of having a witch as my tutor..

Reviews for "The Witch's Spellbook of Success: Lessons from My Enigmatic Tutor"

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- Sarah - 1/5 stars - "My tutor is a witch" was a complete waste of time. The writing was subpar, with awkward sentences and grammatical errors throughout. The characters were one-dimensional and unlikable, and I couldn't connect with any of them. The romance felt forced and unnatural. The book lacked any real substance, and I found myself struggling to finish it. I would not recommend it to anyone.

- Mark - 2/5 stars - I had high hopes for "My tutor is a witch," but it fell short of my expectations. The plot had potential, but it was poorly executed. The pacing was slow, and the story dragged on unnecessarily. The characters were underdeveloped, and I never felt invested in their journeys. The writing itself was average at best, with cliché dialogue and predictable scenes. Overall, this book was a disappointment.

- Emily - 1/5 stars - "My tutor is a witch" was a terrible book. The concept was interesting, but the execution was poorly done. The protagonist was whiny and annoying, and I couldn't sympathize with her at all. The storyline was confusing and convoluted, and it felt like the author was making things up as they went along. The book lacked coherence and left me feeling unsatisfied. I would not recommend it to anyone.

The Witch's Brew of Knowledge: Lessons from My Tutor