The legend of the Witch of Sloyh dates back to the 18th century in a small village in England. The village of Sloyh was believed to be cursed by an evil witch who lived in the outskirts of town. The witch was said to have dark powers and was feared by the entire community. According to the legend, the Witch of Sloyh would lure innocent villagers into her lair and cast spells on them, causing them to suffer from various ailments or even death. Many villagers claimed to have seen strange occurrences and heard eerie noises coming from the witch's cottage. As the village became more and more terrified of the witch, a group of brave villagers decided to take matters into their own hands.
“The Blair Underwood Project,” easily the worst of the ones not starring Pauley Shore, doesn’t actually contain any black characters, but it revolves around three out-of-work actors looking to deliver a script to Blair Underwood. No doubt valuing his career, Underwood doesn’t appear. There isn’t time in these short films to establish any character or story depth, but there is enough time to be funny…and none of them manage to do so. They all follow the basic Blair Witch structure: optimistic searching, getting lost, panicking, hearing noises at night, the close-up “I’m so sorry” speech and the final “standing in a corner” shot. Once through this familiar territory is enough. Five times is just cruel.
There isn t time in these short films to establish any character or story depth, but there is enough time to be funny and none of them manage to do so. Easy gags abound, from attempts by the white kids to be down to the stereotyped thugs and pimps to jokes involving 40-ounce malt liquor bottles and crack pipes.
As the village became more and more terrified of the witch, a group of brave villagers decided to take matters into their own hands. They formed a secret society dedicated to eradicating the evil witch once and for all. The society, known as the Guardians of Sloyh, spent years researching and gathering information about the witch's powers and weaknesses.
The Bogus Witch Project
Sighs. Dull segments. I chuckled maybe twice. Black guys in the woods could have been something special instead it was just lame. And of course you get the ending shot of the guy standing in the corner except he's taking a piss. ha. ha. ha. Avoid this. You will get more enjoyment watching unboxing videos or JoeysWorldTour. Oh also, Pauly Shore is in this. just in case you wanted to know.
The best part of this movie is that besides a ranking here or there this movie will be lost in time never to be watched again. And with that I can die happy.
mostly the stars are for the weird QVC adverts between the segments and also that i like the thought of getting a bunch of amateur filmmakers to try and direct a 15 min blair witch short and then stitching them all together
Awful movie spoofing the Blair Witch Project. It consists of several episodes with some ads in between. Completely dull. Half star for the first episode ("The Piranha Watts") and another half for the last story ("The Willy Condominium Witch").
I knew this was going to be bad, but holy shit. This was really bad. I only bought this dvd because for some unknown reason George Romero's OJ Simpson documentary is a hidden easter egg on here. Watched the doc right away, but the actual movie has just been sitting in my to watch pile for a while now. Decided it was time. There isn't a single thing funny in this movie. It's made up of several parodies of the Blair Witch Project. You'd think at least one of them would be humorous, but you'd be wrong. Unfunny jokes just keep repeating themselves. The closeup, crying, I'm sorry scene? Done in I believe every single one of these. Twice in…
I enjoyed this one more than the “real” The Blair Witch Project! 😅 The biggest issue I have with the film is the lack of Pauly Shore, he was only in it for a few minutes. We need more Pauly Shore in 2023!
Funny Blair witch project parody.The Blair Witch Sacrifice (2025)
dir. Stephen Susco (Unfriended: Dark Web) “Online chatroom moderator Evan finds a stick figure belonging to the mysterious Blair Witch at a mystical trinket shop in Baltimore. On a dare from his internet peers, he begins a ‘c_m jar’ with the stick figure inside, intending to fill the jar completely— however, not long into the process, his sacrilegious actions conjure an evil presence in his apartment that tries to thwart him at every turn. Time is running out— he must fill the jar and bury it in the Black Hills where it belongs to free himself from the curse. Will he succeed?”
This fucking sucked. I don’t understand why this film was made, I don’t understand why this film sucked fuck so bad, and most importantly, I don’t understand why I spent an hour and a half watching it. This is quite possibly the worst attempt at comedy/horror I’ve ever seen, and I’ve watched a lot of shitty films with piss poor excuses of comedy/horror.
"And I just wanna say. that I am very sorry. to the viewers of this film. because there are probably a million other Blair Witch spoofs." This film is a collection of individual spoofs based on The Blair Witch Project made by different amateur movie makers. I'm not entirely sure if I had an actual reason to put this on my watchlist when I did other than being curious about how many jokes different people could get out of the same source material. How many different ways are there to parodize Blair Witch Project and why did they choose that out of all the things as the target?
The simple answer for the latter question is probably because it is…
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They discovered that the witch drew her power from a magical artifact hidden somewhere in the village. Armed with this knowledge, the Guardians devised a plan to lure the witch out of her cottage and retrieve the artifact. They used a decoy villager to pose as a potential victim and lead the witch into a trap. On the night of the planned ambush, the witch fell for the trap, believing she was capturing another helpless victim. However, the Guardians were prepared and were able to overpower her. They retrieved the magical artifact and banished the witch from the village forever. After the incident, the village of Sloyh slowly returned to normal. The Guardians of Sloyh disbanded and the legend of the Witch of Sloyh became nothing more than a horrifying tale to scare children. To this day, the legend of the Witch of Sloyh is still told in the village, serving as a warning to be wary of dark magic and to stand against evil. The tale is a reminder that bravery and unity can triumph over even the darkest of forces..
Reviews for "The Witch of Sloyh: A Dark and Twisted Past"
1. John - 2 stars - I was really looking forward to reading "Witch of Sloyh" as I'm a big fan of fantasy novels, but I couldn't get into this one. The plot was slow-moving and lacked any real excitement. The characters were one-dimensional and I found it hard to connect with any of them. Overall, I was disappointed with this book and wouldn't recommend it to fellow fantasy lovers.
2. Sarah - 1 star - I found "Witch of Sloyh" to be incredibly confusing and hard to follow. The author jumped around between different timelines and perspectives, making it difficult to keep track of what was happening. Additionally, the writing style was not engaging and I struggled to stay interested in the story. I ended up giving up on this book about halfway through and don't think it was worth my time.
3. Emily - 2 stars - The premise of "Witch of Sloyh" sounded interesting, but the execution fell flat for me. The pacing was uneven, with long stretches of nothing happening followed by rushed and messy conclusions. The world-building was also lacking, leaving me feeling disconnected from the story and its setting. The characters were forgettable and their motivations were unclear. Overall, I felt underwhelmed by this book and wouldn't recommend it to others.
4. Mark - 2 stars - I had high hopes for "Witch of Sloyh" based on the positive reviews I had read, but unfortunately, it didn't live up to my expectations. The writing was mediocre, and the dialogue felt forced and unnatural. The plot was predictable and lacked depth, making the story feel generic and unoriginal. I was hoping for a captivating and immersive fantasy tale, but this book left me feeling disappointed and wanting more.
5. Laura - 1 star - "Witch of Sloyh" was a letdown for me. The story felt disjointed and poorly structured, making it difficult to follow and stay engaged. The characters lacked depth and development, making it hard to care about their fates. Additionally, the writing style was bland and lacked creativity. I struggled to finish this book and ended up feeling unsatisfied with the overall reading experience.